The East End Case in West (By God) Virginia May 2007

I make this report to cast some clarity on a situation that has come to public attention. I am a reporter and Para- psychologist and as such feel the need for a greater obligation to the truth. I must clarify, also, that I am a skeptic and as such seek to unravel the web of interconnections between human creativity and real science.

Having said that, last year I had received an e-mail from a young couple, Jessy and William Burry, who had purchased a home in East End. It was listed as an historic home, The Pictory House. A Reverend Jebadia Pictory built the house in 1883. He was described as a small, thin, fussy man with a high pitched nasally voice and an eye for the ladies. A self-proclaimed scholar well versed in ancient Greek. The handwritten sermons, that have survived, are rambling and for the most part pointless. It is surmised that he used them as cheat notes and may have, in spite of his notes, delivered a cogent oratory. The church caught fire and was burned to the foundation less than one year after he moved into the town. There was no explanation as to why a new church was never built. The last years of Jebadia’s life were spent as a Bible Salesman and Barkeep at a local tavern. The reports of his death are sketchy but indicate that he had and affair with one of the barmaids working in the Pub in which he was employed. The woman was described as a bountiful woman of enormous stature. Mrs. Pictory, a large and voluptuous woman herself, was not pleased at his indiscretion and allegedly shot him, not in a jealous rage, but with meticulous forethought. She had contracted a social disease and felt just in her actions. It was recorded that she had stood in a Church service and proclaimed, unabashedly, her infliction. She described the curse as a pox visited upon her by her sinful and unrepentant husband. The court records stated that when she caught her husband mid-coitus she had burst into laughter at the sight of her diminutive husband perched atop, what she described as, a whale of a woman. She sat and carefully took aim, fired, and pierced his heart. Firing yet again at the terrified and screeching barmaid. That shot hit no vital organs and the barmaid survived with no lasting ill affect. The wronged and vengeful wife was arrested and carried, still laughing, to the local jail. It was reported that all the towns people visited, brought her meals, listened to her side of the story, and left in an agreeable state of mind. The trial was a local sensation. The jury, on hearing her defense broke into hysterical laughter, that seemed to be unending, until the Judge, wiping tears from his eyes, ordered the Jury to deliberate. When they returned the woman was found ‘Not guilty’ and set free. She resided in the house and expanded it over the years, until she died at the age of 99. Apparently, along the way, she was cured of her affliction and her girth. The tin types of her that remain show a tall slim woman. The house became an Inn and then a B&B until the Burry’s purchased it for the same purpose.

The Burry’s claimed to be at wits end to explain events in the home and were considering moving from the house, even though they had spent every penny they had on purchasing and renovating the property. I must admit I had reservations. Whenever someone with such an enterprise contacts me I am inclined to doubt his or her veracity. It is clear that if we were to prove that the house was haunted the marketability of the B&B would surely improve. Being used in that manner is unacceptable. Still, after a long phone call with the couple I felt they were sincere.

I called on two Researchers that I had used most successfully in the past, Tenissia and Bubba Evinrude. (No connection to the Evinrude Dynasty) We met for a pre-investigation meeting to brief them on the case. The Burry’s had reported several disturbing manifestations in the home. When they first moved in they slept in what was the master bedroom. At 3:15 am during the first full moon a male voice was heard, high pitched and nasally. All that could be discerned was a plethora of audible thee and thous. Bubba brought up that the couple could have easily looked up the history of the house and had made up a plausible story. The second event was the first time Mrs. Burry, a great cook, availed herself of the speed of preparing instant grits for breakfast, the quickly hot concoction was tossed from the stove onto a wall. A second attempt at the same breakfast treat produced the same effect. The third event was again at 3:15 on the second full moon, laughter was heard downstairs. The phenomena lasted over two minutes.

The forth and last thing reported was the most embarrassing for Mrs. Burry and the item that convinced me to take the case. I Googled the couple and found that they were lay-leaders in a local Baptist Church and renown for their charitable works. Her story belayed any intent to defraud because of its shameful element. Mrs. Burry complained of her right breast being kneaded as if an invisible hand were at work. This manifestation happens at least once a night, when awake and waking her from a sound sleep. She also reported that when she showered an unseen hand slapped and fondled her buttocks. Her husband verified both accounts and even e-mailed photos of his wife’s bottom with red hand-marks on each cheek. I discounted the photos for the possibility that the man had a more lascivious need to share pictures of his wife’s well formed derrière. I e-mailed back that any photos of his wife’s right breast should not be sent over the Internet and could wait till we arrived. He e-mailed back that he was just about to do just that and thanked me for my discretion.

The logistics were agreed upon and we set out early the next morning for West Virginia. During the trip there was some contention between Bubba and Tenissia. Bubba insisted on studying the photos of Mrs. Burry’s butt cheeks, much to Tenissias consternation. He claimed that he was measuring the proportions of the handprints. He stated that he could determine if the prints belonged to Mr. Burry, as he suspected. I agreed but Tenissia believed he was taking a more personal interest. We all agreed for the sake of the investigation to hold off on that area of investigation until we arrive and can study all the data in its proper context.

We arrived early afternoon on Tuesday and were graciously greeted by the Burry’s. Both attractive people, but looking very tried and somewhat haggard. Never the less we had a splendid meal and conversation with the handsome and charming young couple. There still remained some tension between Bubba and Tenissia. Bubba openly watched Mrs. Burry’s undulating bottom each time she left the room. It required my intervention. We took a walk, while the Burry’s cleaned up, and I reminded them both of their professionalism and the need to be to be focused and detached. They apologized and set up our equipment with their normal alacrity and attention to detail. Truly representing to me, the professionals they are.

We set up night cameras and heat sensing lasers in three of the bedrooms, the shower, the kitchen and pointing up the stairwell. We put microphones throughout the house and set up a command center in the closed in back porch. Lights out was at 9:30pm. The first event happened at 11:30pm the camera in the kitchen picked up a mist developing in front of the stove. Mrs. Burry had placed a pot of quick- grits on the stovetop. She had placed it on low heat. It is our belief that heat energy draws ethereal entities. The suspicion is that entities gather heat energy in order to manifest. Suddenly the pot was thrown toward the camera. Grits apparently covered the lens obscuring any more views. I immediately headed for the kitchen. On entering I felt a searing pain on my stomach that knocked me to my knees. The feeling was as if I had been punched. I radioed Bubba and Tenissia to come down and assist. They were stationed in the upstairs master bedroom and reported hearing a man’s voice. The voice was barely audible. I told them I needed help and that the mics would pick up any voice anomalies. I was in quite a bit of distress by the time my team members were aside me. I was helped back to the porch. I lifted my shirt and four parallel scratches transversed my abdomen. Mrs. Burry attended my wounds as the rest watched the monitors. Bubba picked up another infrared camera, an Em sensor, and went upstairs to the master bedroom. Tenissia decided to go stand in the hall shower where Mrs. Burry reported the ghostly molestation. Twenty minutes went by before Tenissia called and told us to watch the monitor. She was standing in the showered stall and it could be seen that the buttons on her blouse were unhooking and her skirt was being lifted. The effect was surreal. I neglected to mention the Tenissia is well over six feet tall and weighs over 300 pounds. At this point I made the connection that if Pictory’s spirit still remains here he might find Tenissia irresistible. Fearing for her safety I told her to get out of there. She spoke back in a clear voice. "Whatever it is. It feels tiny. Like my husband. I’m gonna see how far this will go. Is the camera running?" I responded in the affirmative and told her to be careful. I told Mr. Burry to go upstairs in case she needs any assistance.

I also did not mention that Bubba is a smallish fellow, maybe 145 pounds and five foot six inches tall, with a great big fluffy mullet. I did not mention it in the beginning of my report for fear that they would be discounted by societal prejudice. In fact they are competent and educated people, in spite of their startling appearance. It was not intentional but a subconscious decision that I picked two people whom may closely resemble the alleged spirits in this house. But it seemed to have worked out well as the spirits seemed to react.

Tenissia was being disrobed by a spirit, presumably, the good Reverend himself. One of her massive breasts popped out of her bra and was dancing on her chest, undulating all by itself.

Here is a transcription of the audio recording.

Bubba: "What’s going on down there?"

EVP: (High pitched male voice) "Does thou like what I am doing?"

Me: "Apparently a spirit is trying to have his way with your wife."

EVP: "…a fine figure of a woman."

Bubba: "Oh Damn, not again. I’ll be right down. Tenissia cut it out, damn it, you are such a tramp."

EVP: "…big naughty vixen."

Tenissia: "I’m not a tramp. I ain’t cheating on you. It’s a ghost for havens sake."

Bubba: "Does it have to be every time?"

At that point the two argued and for their privacy I do not include that conversation in this brief. The two came out to the porch having apparently settled their differences. They both reviewed the audio and were as surprised and delighted, as was I, at the spirit recording and physical manifestation we had captured.

Bubba decided to take the EM meter upstairs and see if he could get any readings. The EM device measures electro-magnetic fields. It is clear that higher readings can indicate eminent paranormal activity. He made an adjustment to compensate for the static electricity his enormous ‘Business in the front-party in the back "haircut produces. Tenessia has little success with that piece of equipment, apparently she emits quite a field herself. Her explanation is that her powerful psychic abilities affect the readings. It is as plausible an explanation as any.

There were no disturbances until 3:15am. Then, quite suddenly the silence was shattered. A male voice, high pitched and nasally, began to drone lowly and then pick up volume. It seemed to emanate from every room in the house. By the tone and pitch it was a sermon of a kind, soaring and falling in ghostly eloquence. The words could not be discerned but everyone present felt its effect. We all were washed in a feeling of irritation and then an overwhelming sleepiness. Bubba ran down the stairs and fell on the floor in front of us in a faint. The voice raised in pitch and intensity, shaking the very walls. The words could be heard at this point and they made no sense. Though not a biblical scholar I am well versed in the Scripture and found the disembodied and spoken examples and conclusions to be inane and unconnected. It was as if the spirit person was just orating unrelated verses from both the Old and New Testament, in no particular order. In spite of being in abject terror the words lulled us all into a deep sleep.

I was awakened by sunlight streaming into the porch. I roused myself feeling confused and dazed. When I had gathered myself sufficiently I nudged each one of my fellow sojourners. We were all surprisingly refreshed and had no ill effect from the nights activities. Mrs. Burry was in fine spirits. She stated that it was nice not being pawed the night before. Breakfast was, again, wonderful. Mr. Burry seemed quite distressed through most of the morning. I had asked him if there was anything wrong. He took me aside and confessed that he had been aroused at the video of Tenissia being accosted by the spirit entity. I told him that such energies sometimes are created outside our control and to not fret overmuch about what could be a natural reaction. He said he would pray on it but felt relieved.

Resting the next day we set up again the following night. In spite of our vigilance no phenomena was recorded. Tenissia performed an exorcism to allow the troubled spirits to go on to the next plane of existence. We went home and studied the data gathered. The results were amazing. Thermal readings picked up figures moving about the rooms. Em-readings were off the scale. Several EVP’s were very intriguing.

Here are some examples:

Mrs. Burry: "Should I use regular grits or instant. We don’t usually use instant."

EVP: (Woman’s voice)"No self respecting southerner would ever use insty-grits"

Mr. Burry: "I don’t mind the instant. I think the Doc want’s us to use the instant."

EVP: "You are a spineless…"

Mrs. Burry: (Heavy breathing)"Honey, cut it out. I think the camera may be on."

EVP: "Put that away… Tain’t decent in the kitchen."

Here’s another:

Bubba: "Reverend Pickory? If you are in the room will you speak to me?"

EVP: (High pitched male voice) "Would you all mind if I were to- (Garbled)- your fine looking wife?"

Bubba: "Could you knock if you are here?"

EVP: (Loud solid knocks and the ‘Sermon’ sounds begin.)

Bubba: "Oh hell no!" (Sounds of running.)

We also recorded remarkable footage of objects moving on there own accord. It was all in all a powerful experience.

That should have been enough for the Paranormal World but events took on a life of their own. I published my findings to a rapt audience. I appeared on several national radio shows with the evidence and felt vindicated for the decision to take up such a career. And that would have been good. It deteriorated.

The Pictory House B&B became a sensation. Rooms were booked years in advance. The Burry’s named one of the rooms after me, to my chagrin. Tenissia melted away to a mere 220 pounds due to the increased self esteem created by being a celebrity. She divorced Bubba and took up with a Nascar driver. Her book ‘My Illicit Affair With A Ghost’ sadly was a best seller. Bubba started up a business as a cesspool contractor out of Hopskinville Kentucky. Bubba had sighted infidelity in the divorce proceedings. Some understanding was met. The divorce was settled amicably. He is still involved in paranormal investigations and has become somewhat of a celebrity speaker on the Convention circuit.

The media storm that surrounded the Pictory investigation forced me out of paranormal research. I set up practice in San Diego as a ‘normal’ Therapist. The final points of interest in this whole affair were a parcel I received from the Burry’s. In it were twenty-four glossy 8x10 nudes of Mrs. Burry, in all her glorious splendor. Not one handprint could be seen and no area was left to be seen. Again I was unsure of Mr. Burry’s reason for sending them to me. A card was included. The hand written note, in Mr. Burry’s hand, inviting me to stay at the B&B free of charge, anytime. There was also a scented card from Mrs. Burry, thanking me for my attention, and that she would be honored to reciprocate. I filed the photos away.

I have taken a liking to grits, learning Greek, and an unnerving fascination with large women. I am currently in therapy.

End report.

Dr. J.B. Siddlehous

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